


Love's Edge

by TMar



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 16:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Picard has to take a test for megalomania. He'll be hypnotized and put on the Holodeck. Nothing could possibly go wrong in that scenario!





	Love's Edge

**Author's Note:**

> This story appeared in "Naked Now One" in 1992. Sue me, I liked Doctor Pulaski. And who can resist a chance to have the Guardian of Forever back?!

LOVE’S EDGE

Picard read the message twice, just to make sure that this was right. He hated taking tests, but especially ones that Starfleet seemed to come up with out of the blue and expect their high-ranking officers to take. Finally he sat back and sighed. There was nothing for it but to take the test, and send the transcripts to Starfleet. It had been the sentence, "... field command will be suspended for six months unless the test is completed by the following stardate—“

Jean-Luc Picard didn't want to be stuck on a starbase or on Earth while Starfleet decided whether or not to allow him to go back out into space without doing the stupid test. He sighed again, walked up to the food synthesiser, said, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot," as usual, took his tea, and plunked back down to read exactly what kind of test it was...

All cadets, before graduation, took this kind of test. In fact, it was the 24th century version of the Kobayashi Maru test - a cadet was hypnotised, or the closest to that, plunked on the Holodeck and into a situation, which, because of the hypnosis, the cadet thought was real. Thus, your true performance could be excellently evaluated.

Picard had performed extremely well in his test all those years ago, but why he had to take a similar one now, he could not fathom. He was not to know that because some Starfleet personnel started to exhibit megalomaniac tendencies after too many years in space, Starfleet had decided on periodic testing -every fifteen years - to try and lessen this figure. Captains Tracy and Merick were still on the minds of the Starfleet Cotrmand people, who didn't want entire planets totally messed up by a few men with advanced knowledge.

Doctor Beverly Crusher was reading much the same material, and smiling to herself. She had gained access to the older files recording Picard's performance on command tests, and could only imagine what he'd come up with on this one! He always won, but often he had shown a vitality and energy that the Jean-Luc of today sometimes lacked. He might just need that spark to get him back into the swing of things, she thought.

Starfleet was notifying the doctor that they needed the expert opinion of not one but TWO Starfleet physicians as well as the ship's Counselor as to how the captain performed. The other physician was due to arrive at any moment, when the Enterprise rendezvoused with the Excelsior.... Until then, Beverly went off to Ten Forward to relax.

She found Commander Riker sitting with the ship's Counselor. Deanna Troi was eating chocolate lava cake and Will was enjoying a plate of gagh. The doctor veered away from them for a minute and said hi to Guinan. Guinan was smiling that enigmatic smile of hers, but saying nothing.

"You're very mysterious," said Beverly.

"There's anticipation on this ship suddenly," the alien responded. "Even I know that. Wanna tell me what it is?"

"It must be that psych test the captain has to take."

"Oh, yes. The one that tests to see whether an officer has started to get delusions of grandeur."

"That's the one. Where did you hear about it?" Crusher asked, suddenly curious. "You never went to the Academy."

"Oh, here and there." That said, Guinan went off to inspect something on the other side of the lounge. Beverly went over to the duo at the table.

"Hi, sit down," was Deanna's greeting. "Here to discuss the psych test?"

"Hmm, maybe. To mull it over, is more like it. Jean-Luc doesn't have those maniacal tendencies, we can see that without giving him that test."

"I agree," said Troi. "But the test may reveal something we don't know, and for a job like his, such a test has to be good for the captain."

"Are you worried?" Riker put in.

"Hmm, not really..." mused Beverly, looking up to see the other physician, who had just walked into Ten Forward. Beverly was about to get up, when the physician came over to the table.

"Hi, Will, Deanna. You must be Beverly Crusher. I'm Kate Pulaski."

"Hi," said Beverly, shaking hands. "Sorry I missed you before."

Without waiting for an invitation, Katherine Pulaski sat down. "Well, we can catch up now."

"How long are you staying?" Will asked.

"A week, just long enough to table the results of the test, then I'm back to the old grind, as they say." Kate looked up just in time to see Worf, who ambled (a Klingon amble) over to her, and greeted her very warmly. "Doctor Pulaski. It's good to see you."

"You too, Handsome," responded the doctor, making Beverly more curious than ever as to what had gone on during the year she'd spent at Starfleet.

Picard, too, was happy to see Doctor Pulaski. His enthusiastic hug made Beverly even more curious... but then the captain turned to her. "You three are the only people who will see this test and the results?"

"Yes," answered Crusher. "We will be monitoring the test from the observation room, and then we will be able to table the results as figures for Starfleet, along with a transcript."

"Don't be nervous, Captain," broke in Pulaski. "You always pull through, we all know that."

"But..."

"Nervousness is natural."

Then Deanna Troi walked in. "Everything is ready. Captain, if you'll sit down we can begin with the hypnosis."

Picard looked from one woman to the other. He felt like a guinea pig, or a mouse about to be dissected. Which he was, really. Starfleet was going to dissect him. But he was used to that, so he sat down, relaxed, and waited for the Counselor to begin the session.

"That's the program?" asked Beverly as Pulaski inserted it into the computer.

"Yep."

"Can we know in advance what it is?"

"It's Starfleet's foolproof loyalty test," answered Katherine. "This test is supposed to be the only one that can absolutely, without question, assess a captain's belief in the ideals of the Federation, Starfleet and of course the Prime Directive. It is only used in situations like these."

"What is it?"

"It was devised by an admiral... let me see... over eighty years ago." Kate continued pushing buttons. 

Finally the computer chimed ready. The doctor sighed. "Ready."

"I'll go wake our captain." 

Beverly went out, and Kate turned to Deanna. "So that's her."

"Who?" Deanna was confused.

"The person the captain wished he was looking at every time he looked at me sitting here in Sickbay." Pulaski said it with a self-satisfied kind of tone, as if she'd just discovered a real stable wormhole. 

Troi was surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I was only trying to fill her shoes, you know." Pulaski smiled. "She's the one he wants here."

Deanna looked sideways at her. "He's always been your friend. You're too much alike, I think. As for the other... it has nothing to do with your skills as chief medical officer. In some ways, you're better qualified than Beverly."

Kate Pulaski raised her eyebrows. "Hm." But Troi could see what she was thinking that she wasn't qualified for what Picard really wanted, whatever that was.

The captain of the Enterprise opened his eyes to find himself on a dead, desolate planet. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he realised that he seemed to be leading an Away Team consisting of himself, Geordi, Data, and Dr. Crusher. They were all taking readings, and he wondered how he'd gotten here.

("All right, hit him with the memory pulse now.")

Suddenly, it all became clear. They had felt some disturbances in space, and come here to invesigate. He'd left Riker in command because this was an archaeological site, over a million years old, and he wanted to get a first-hand look at it. He examined some ruins closely, then turned to Data. "Mister Data, what have you got?"

"Those spatial disturbances can be traced to this object ahead, Captain. I believe it may be some kind of generator." He couldn't say what generator because he didn't know.

Picard walked around to the other side of the object. "If it is a generator, how does it work?" He was addressing Data, but the object answered instead! *A QUESTION. SINCE BEFORE YOUR SUN BURNED HOT IN SPACE AND BEFORE YOUR RACE WAS BORN, I HAVE AWAITED A QUESTION*

Picard was taken completely by surprise and couldn't think of a thing to say, but Data asked, "What are you?"

*I AM THE GUARDIAN OF FOREVER*

"Who built you?" went on Data.

*I AM MY OWN BEGINNING, MY OWN ENDING*

"Are you indeed a machine?" Data, like other sentient beings, always looked for something like him. A living machine would fall into that category. But the Guardian said, *I AM MACHINE AND BEING. BOTH AND NEITHER*

Intrigued at finding this one machine/being still here on this planet, Picard took it upon himself to talk to it, to find out more. Was this not part of their mission, after all?

"Why were you... uh... why are you here?"

*1 AM A GATEWAY TO OTHER TIMES AND DIMENSIONS. LOOK. I CAN SHOW YOU YOUR OWN PAST, IF YOU WISH*

Centuries began to fly past in front of the Away Team. The doctor said the first thing she could think of since beaming down (or so Picard thought. The real doctor was monitoring the procedures from the observation room), which was, "We can just go in there and visit the past? How do we get back?"

*WHEN YOU WISH TO, WHEN YOUR JOB THERE IS DONE*

"What job?"

Just then, wouldn't you know it, a lone Romulan jumped out from behind a rock and into the middle of the flashing pictures on the Guardian, which was doughnut shaped, of course.

"Romulans!" If there was one, there might be others. Picard decided to have the Enterprise scan the planet. "Picard to Enterprise."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Scan the planet for more Romulans. One just jumped into what seems to be a time gate of some sort."

"Sir?" from Riker. 

When Picard didn't answer, he could hear his first officer giving the orders.

There were no other Romulans on the planet. Riker seemed confused because the ship didn't even scan one. "It could be the disturbance, Sir. Maybe Doctor Crusher could try her medical scanner."

Picard turned to give that order, but the doctor was nowhere to be seen. They tried contacting her, but no answer was forthcoming.

Finally, in total frustration, Picard asked, "Where is Beverly Crusher?"

*SHE HAD NO BEGINNING, NO ORIGIN. SHE IS GONE*

"What?" shouted Beverly and Kate at once. They were so stunned they didn't notice Picard and the Geordi hologram shouting exactly the same thing. 

"I thought this was supposed to test the subject's loyalty to Starfleet," Crusher said.

"There's something wrong," replied Pulaski, making calculations on the computer. "The Enterprise is supposed to disappear, not you."

Kate ran out of the observation room and down the corridor, where she began to test the programming of the holodeck on the holodeck console. She shrugged finally. "It says there's nothing wrong, but something has affected the program." 

Deanna, standing behind, suddenly said, "They're back."

"Who?"

"The Calamarein."

"Those beings that were trying to kill Q?"

"Yes. They're... curious about us. Something they've done has affected the Holodeck. I feel their satisfaction."

"Not again!" both doctors said. Both had experience of a Holodeck that went screwy. They looked at each other for a second, then both ran back to the observation room.   
In her mind, Crusher to herself was telling herself to calm down. She sighed and addressed Pulaski and Troi, who had just finished informing the bridge about the aliens. "Okay. We can't disengage now because Starfleet wants this test transmitted before tomorrow. We can't begin again because it would entail re-hypnotising the captain, and we'd lose time. All we can do is let the program run until it's over."

"And Data can adjust it afterwards," said Pulaski.

"What?"

"I'm sure Data can adjust the program so that it seems to have gone the way Starfleet wanted."

"That's illegal."

Pulaski addressed Beverly as though she were a child. "And this test is invalid. We must pick the lesser of two evils."

"All right."

They turned on the monitor again.

Picard, with the help of the two Holodeck-generated crewmembers, had discovered that the Romulan had somehow changed history, but that it was possible for him to go back in time and try to save Beverly. Data couldn't go - too conspicuous. Neither could Geordi, same reason. 

Data told him about the focal point in time which both he and the Romulan would find. They could send him back first by asking the Guardian to replay Earth's history, and he would arrive before the Romulan, with some chance of finding that insignificant detail that had been changed, and stopping the Romulan from changing it.

"But what does the Romulan do, that it would affect only Beverly?"

"Something insignificant," answered Geordi. "I think it would be something inadvertent."

Riker concurred with that from the Enterprise, but added, "You realise that if the Romulan realises where he is, we could have a catastrophe on our hands."

"That is why you must go back, Captain," said Data.

So Jean-Luc Picard asked the Guardian to replay Earth's history, and he leaped. He found himself walking down the street on twenty-first century Earth. They had hopefully timed it so that he'd arrived at least five days before the Romulan - enough time to work out what to do, he hoped. But where was he going to stay? The Enterprise had furnished him with twenty-first century money and clothes, and he had an idea of where to look for work, where to stay. He tried the motel first, where his accent attracted attention.

"You a tourist?" asked the woman behind the desk.

"Er, yes," answered Jean-Luc, having no choice but to say that. "I would like to find a job, though. Do you have any ideas?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. My friend across the street at the diner needs a dishwasher. People come, stay a few days, and go. You'll be the same."'

"No doubt," agrred Picard, making the woman wonder if he was kidding or not, "but I will work hard."

"Well, try her. Ask for Lynda."

Picard got the job, and began washing dishes. He found himself spending more and more time with the woman behind the desk at the motel. She was the owner's daughter, and her name was Anne. Every day when Picard got off work he would walk around the town - which was a small town in the Midwest - looking for the Romulan. Every day he would look at the tricorder records for the next few days, trying to find the focal point in time.

One evening when he was eating supper, she came in and sat down next to him. They had grown quite close, and this was as it should be - the Holodeck program was working perfectly, except for that one little discrepancy when it had changed the scenario a certain Admiral Kirk had set it up for.

Anne smiled at him, bent as he was over the strange computer, eating with the other hand. "You certainly know a lot about computers," she said for conversation.

He smiled. "Not really. I'm trying to learn."

"One day we'll have computer people, don't you think? Robots and such, even better than the ones we have now."

"Yes," was all he could think of to say, without encouraging her.

"And will we find life at Alpha Centauri?" They had sent the spaceship out two years before.

"I have no doubt," Picard answered.

"I think we will," she said. "Look at how we have improved things since the Eugenics Wars."

The Enterprise's captain wanted to say that there had been that bad period when everything had degenerated into chaos, but he didn't. Most humans were forward-looking, and he didn't want to spoil that. He turned back to the tricorder, and his face fell. He saw a newscast where Anne, the well-known worker at the Moonshine Motel, part-time ballet dancer and campaigner for animal rights, had been killed when some old-order extremists had blown up the laboratory she and some people were picketing.

But Jean-Luc didn't think anything of it, except to be sad, because he had no idea what he'd see when he watched the parallel Earth history AFTER the Romulan had leaped. He took Anne out to a movie that night, marvelling at her love for all beings, sorry that she'd die and wishing he could prevent it, but knowing he couldn't. And that night he watched the parallel version, only this time she was one of those who had escaped being killed due to some commotion created by an unknown dissident (who was, of course, the Romulan).

That was the only thing which had changed in the parallel histories - Anne's existence. She was the focal point in time, and was fated to die. Isn't that enough, Picard asked himself. Do you have to know how her existence wiped Beverly's out? But he did. He followed the history, and what he could make out was that she, instead of another woman, had married one of Beverly's ancestors, wiping one line of Beverly's ancestry out. So Beverly was never born. And neither was Wesley. 

Picard went out and found some very cheap wine, which he drank all night, knowing what he'd have to do. It wasn't his first ethical crisis, but it was his most difficult.

How can I trade a life for a life? he asked himself. If she dies, Beverly lives. Her living might bring some people into being who could be good for the galaxy... No, don't think like that. She was fated to die, but somehow the Romulan prevented it. I have to make sure he doesn't, this time.

It made Picard very afraid suddenly when he realised that the future was NOT set - anything could happen. If he saw someone walk in front of a bus, he'd have to restrain himself from rushing over and saving that person. 

His thoughts whirled in a circle: There's too much at stake, but it's not fate. It's our possible future. Maybe Fate doesn't exist. Maybe it's only our arrogance that allows us to think that some things are "meant to be" while others are not. How can I do it? Would I do it for Geordi, or Data, or Will? Without Beverly, I might have fallen in love with Anne. I might have risked my crew for her. But not for Beverly. I must save Beverly.

The next morning, Picard awoke with a really bad hangover.

While the time seemed to pass slowly on the Holodeck, the test was taking place in only a few hours. Time was extremely subjective on the Holodeck, and to the hypnotised subject. Crusher went to get some food, and it was Pulaski and Troi who witnessed Picard's ethical crisis.

"Will he do it?" Troi asked Kate.

"Yes."

"You sound so certain."

"I am. This program was designed to make the subject fall in love with the Anne character, and have to choose between her and the Federation. It's not really much of a choice." Pulaski sighed. "But now... now there is only one life versus another. Could you choose? I don't know if I could. But Jean-Luc Picard loves Beverly Crusher. So he'll do it. Depend on it."

"You're very perceptive," said Deanna.

"I know people," agreed the doctor.

Morning in small-town America. The captain got up, dressed, and went to find Anne. She was finishing off her picket sign, and smiled at him. He forced himself not to look away, thinking instead of Beverly Crusher's face. Her picket sign said ANIMALS HAVE RIGHTS TOO. So do people, Picard was thinking. And I'm about to ignore your right to live so that someone who hasn't even been born yet will have her chance at those very same rights. 

"Are you coming?" she asked, that sunny smile on her face again. Her black curly hair framed her face, and as she ran her hand through it, Picard felt the pain slice through him. "Yes," was all he said.

He stood at the gate of the lab compound, looking for the Romulan. He could see Anne's dedicated face as she walked around with the others, calling, "End vivisection now! You could be next!" and similar kinds of things.

Over the course of the morning Picard was insulted (by passersby), threatened with arrest (by the police), smiled at (by Anne), offered coffee (by the organisers of the picket) and hosed down (by mistake, when the crowd got rowdy). Still he stood there, wondering if it was in fact going to happen, knowing it was what he was here for.

Then he saw the Romulan come in from a small side gate at the other end of the compound. The Romulan was disguised, but anyone familiar with aliens would know one immediately. A security guard grabbed him, the Romulan fought back, and the picketers started to take an interest.

Picard knew he could not let Anne get near to the commotion, or she'd be out of range when the pro-vivisectionists tried to blow the picketers to kingdom come. He sprinted across the compound, having to get there before the security guard got rid of the Romulan's disguise, and ruined everything.

He grabbed the Romulan by his free arm. "What are you doing?" asked the security guard.

"I know this man. Let's go outside the gate." Once outside, he whispered, "I know who you are. If you want to get back to your Empire, keep quiet and apologise."

"I don't take orders from Humans," replied the Romulan arrogantly.

Before the security guard could protest, Picard said, steel in his voice, "If you don't leave here, Humans are all you'll see for the rest of your life."

Slowly but surely Jean-Luc Picard drew the Romulan away from the lab and into the street, still arguing. 

Anne, I'm sorry, he thought. 

Just as he looked in her direction, she looked at him, and started to step in his direction when the bomb went off.

Picard saw smoke, lots of debris, and then she was lying crumpled on the tarmac parking lot, bloodied. He let go of the Romulan and ran towards her. He was crying inside, hoping she was dead, hating himself for it, part of him wanting her alive. Someone else was already checking Anne's pulse. As Picard rushed up the teenager shook his head.

The captain of the Enterprise slumped to the ground with no preamble. I've saved Beverly, he thought. And look at the price. The Romulan winked out before his eyes.

Whatever I did changed the Romulan's existence, he thought. So I no longer need to stay here. He felt something drawing him to his feet, then he leaped as if over something, and was back on the grey-blue world, where Geordi was smiling with relief and Data was standing, trying to smile. 

*ALL IS AS IT WAS BEFORE. MANY SUCH JOURNEYS ARE POSSIBLE. LET ME BE YOUR GATEWAY* said the Guardian. But Picard was looking around. He saw Beverly...

...and something chimed in his head, making him close his eyes. When he opened them, he stood on the bare Holodeck, unable to remember what had just happened.

The first person to come in was Counselor Trot. "Are you all right, Captain?" She looked haggard, but that was because of the intense emotions she had felt while watching his private agonies on the Holodeck.

"I'm fine," answered Jean-Luc, feeling oddly distracted. What was I just doing? Then he suddenly had an urge to see his Chief Medical Officer. He just about ran from the room, and sprinted towards the observation room.

Beverly Crusher and Kate Pulaski were explaining the situation to Data. "We could use Nanites to go through the records and alter the program so that it appears the way the test was originally intended."

"Can it be done in an hour?" asked Pulaski.

"Yes."

Kate handed Data a record tape. "Wien it's altered, transmit it using these codes to the  
Starbase on this tape."

"Very well," answered Data, and went out, passing the captain, who ran in.

"What happened?" Picard asked, not even greeting either of them.

"You passed the test, Captain," replied Katherine.

"What happened?" he demanded again.

Crusher and Pulaski locked eyes for a minute, then Pulaski gave in. She took Picard's arm and led him out of the door, looking back and Beverly with a "it'll be all right, don't worry" expression on her face. "Why don't we discuss this in your Ready Room, Captain..."

Beverly sat down on the couch in the observation room again, then held up her hands and looked at them. She was shaking. 

"He thought it was all real... he thought it was all real..." she said to herself, over and over again. "I should have stayed at Starfleet Medical, I shouldn't have come here. I should never have requested this assignment... I don't know why I did it..."

But she did know, only she hadn't admitted it to herself. You were crazy about him, she thought. When you heard there was an opening on his ship, you jumped at it. You left your old life and uprooted your son, all for this man. And it was enough just to see him... but not anymore. He knows, now. He cares. And it scares me!

Picard held his head in his hands when Pulaski explained the situation. "We've altered the test to what it should be."

Picard looked up. "No. I have to take it again."

"In my professional opinion, that isn't necessary, Captain. You proved to Starfleet that you are trustworthy and won't go off the rails. I see no reason for you to undergo the same test with only one subject changed. My decision to send this test off to Starfleet stands."

"But..."

She cut him off. "It sounds very like a cliche, but you did it for love. Whether love of Starfleet or a woman doesn't matter. Such strength will always prevent you from changing your stance."

"Kate..."

"Listen to me now, Jean-Luc. I'm a friend.. When I was on this ship and saw Kyle Riker  
again, I realised the chances I lost when I didn't marry him. A person needs someone, take my word for it."

"Yes, but my career has always..."

"Been an excuse. Stop making excuses, don't make the same mistake."

Pulaski squeezed his hand, got up and went to the door. "My shuttle is ready. I'm leaving now. Listen to that advice, Jean-Luc." She came-back, kissed him on the cheek. "For once in your life, listen to me."

The door closed behind her, and Picard smiled to himself. That woman never lets me finish my sentences. But he knew she was right.

Picard sat in his quarters, pondering what Kate had said about the test. He had allowed Data to send the transcripts off to Starfleet as Pulaski had ordered. All for one woman. A life for a life. He remembered, now that he had been reminded. I did it because I care for her, and that was all. Oh, I would have done it had the Federation been at stake, but that's an obvious kind of decision to make. To trade a life - albeit a Holodeck-created one - for a life isn't. 

And he remembered something else: when he had run into the Holodeck observation room, she had been shaking. Afraid of something, perhaps. But if that was her reaction, it had to be true, everything she'd said to him. He suddenly realised that he had been trying to make a decision. And he'd made it. He strode from his quarters and went to hers.

Beverly Crusher wasn't quite asleep yet, but she was feeling pretty tired. Not sleepy tired, though - dead tired, tired. Seeing what Jean-Luc had done had made all her energy disappear, until now she was just lying down, trying to recover. Thank goodness that Kate was here, she thought. She'd have gone to pieces otherwise.

Her door chimed. "Come in," she called.

Picard walked in, and marched straight up to her. She sat up straight and stared at him. "What's going on, Captain?"

"It's true, isn't it?" he asked, sitting down on the bed, next to her.

Confused, she only asked him, "What?"

"Everything you said that time when we picked up that disease from the Tsiolkovsky. And other times," he added as an afterthought.

"What?"

Jean-Luc became exasperated. "Come on, Beverly. I will never come here again if you tell me it's only in my head."

"It's not only in your head, Jean-Luc. I must apologise for leading you on, I don't know what I was thinking, perhaps I saw you as an extension of Jack, I'm not sure..."

"You know that's not true, Beverly."

She sighed slowly. "Why are you here?"

"I..." he laughed nervously. "I don't really know."

"I do. This conversation would be taking place tomorrow if you didn't."

"I didn't come here..." But why lie? "Yes I did." He leaned over her, kissed her slowly. Crusher was so taken aback that all she could do was lie there and let him kiss her.

"Jean-Luc, your career, you always said..."

"I was wrong." 

He kissed her again, and this time Beverly Crusher couldn't help but kiss him back. She put her arms around him, rock-steady again instead of shaky, and held him close. He brushed her hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. She was searching his to see whether he really meant it, or if the strain of the test had pushed him into it. She saw honesty there, and love. 

But he said, "Shall I go?"

"No! I mean, please stay."

He was still wearing his duty uniform. Beverly hurled it in the opposite direction. "Now," she said, sounding much more confident, "where were we?"

"I think," said Jean-Luc softly, "we will find out."

Deanna Troi had also had a very long day. After seeing Kate Pulaski off in her shuttle, she had gone to Ten Forward and had dinner with Will Riker. He'd treated her to that old Earth food, fast food, or more correctly, a huge hamburger with everything on it.

Deanna's taste buds had liked it, but she wasn't so sure if her stomach had. They had discussed the Calamarein, who had promised to return the next morning when the captain would be available. They were really very peaceful, er, beings. Riker didn't know what had affected the Holodeck, and the Calamarein had denied having done anything to any of the Enterprise's systems. It was a mystery. 

Deciding that she would see if Beverly wanted to join her for a chocolate sundae, Troi walked in the direction of the doctor's quarters.

And of course she discovered that being empathic sometimes had a few disadvantages. She hoped she wouldn't smile too broadly at the captain the next day. Trying not to smile now, Deanna composed herself and went off to have something special - champagne, NOT chocolate - before retiring for the night.

The Calamarein did arrive the next morning when Riker was on the bridge. Only he and Data were there as yet, but he had anticipated this. "Where is your leader?" the beings wanted to know.

"I will summon him," replied Riker. "Bridge to Captain Picard."

The computer surprised him by answering. "Captain Picard is not in his quarters."

"Locate the Captain," he ordered it.

"Captain Picard is in the quarters of the ship's chief medical officer."

"What?"

Just then, Deanna walked in. "Will!" Oops, too late. Well, might as well try to minimize the damage. She strode to the console. "Bridge to Doctor Crusher."

A sleepy voice answered, "Crusher here."

"If you see the Captain, would you tell him to come to the Bridge?" asked the Counselor tactfully. "The Calamarein wish to talk to him."

"Okay," replied Crusher, sounding a bit more awake, and a little... peeved? She snapped off the intercom, turned over to find the captain smiling at her. "What?"

"Nothing." He continued to smile, as Beverly ran her hand across his chest, smiling back at him. Then he said, "Duty calls."

"Jean-Luc!" He was looking for his uniform.

"Yes?"

"One day at a time?"

"Agreed." Then he pulled his jacket straight and strode from the room to go be the captain as usual. Just before the doors closed, he looked back at her, and they both smiled.

nothing which we are to perceive in this world   
equals the power of your intense fragility: whose texture  
compels me with the color of its countries,   
rendering death and forever with each breathing

\- e.e. cummings

THE END


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